Wednesday October 11th, 2006

Dear Zachary

I missed you a lot to day. I miss you everyday and think about you all the time but today I really missed you. At work I was going to call your mom to ask her how you were doing but remembered she is working again so I’d have to wait. So I went on with my day, wondering about how you were, and what you were doing at the babysitters at those moments. For work, I had to drive down to a place called Micron, which is a huge building in Lehi Utah where they make computer chips and high technical things like that. Our company is working on a project there and they needed some of their computer and network systems serviced and such, and I was sent down there to do those things. On the way down, I was listening to my iPod and was playing a group called the Transiberian Orchestra, which is a group that released some CD’s of Christmas music with a rock and roll edge to it. Really good stuff, especially for the holiday seasons but since it’s not even Halloween yet the tunes really didn’t fit the mood of the season. But, some of the songs came on as my iPod was in shuffle mode. But, listening to those songs really made me think about you. I kept playing over and over a bunch of memories and pictures I have of you around Christmas time, and birthdays and such where you are opening gifts and you are just so happy! It’s the greatest thing ever to see you smile, and there are so many things I’ll remember for the rest of my life because of it. I kept replaying those things over and over in my mind, like a slow motion slideshow that fit wonderfully with the Christmas music. It just made me so happy and made my day so much better and more relaxed and controlled because of it. Images of you running around, and playing in the snow and riding on the sleds down hills ran through my thoughts the rest of the day. Memories of you opening presents and watching your mouth and eyes goes as wide as they could possibly go at the site of your new presents and toys. The times you’d run up to me and make me follow you into the family room so we could sit and stare at the beautiful Christmas tree together, where you’d show me each individual ornament that was on the tree, and every single present that was under it. And how you’d make me hit the button on the dancing Santa Clause (“ho-ho” as you call him) so we could watch him shake his hips back and forth to some Christmas tunes. You’d make me hit that button a million times and it got so annoying, but I miss it so much. I can’t wait till Christmas season to do all those things again and try to make the holiday even more magical for you.

Like I mentioned before, it’s not even Halloween yet and I’m already having Christmas thoughts and flash backs from our few holidays we’ve had together. Your daddy is weird, yet incredibly good looking though right? I’m sure you’ll realize that very quickly and will probably tell all your friends about it later on as you grow up (the weird part.. you better not going running around telling your friends that I'm good looking), and maybe even be embarrassed by my presence in your life. But, I’m proud of my weirdness, creates character. Ha ha. But some things in your life, you won’t even remember or will think of as nothing important such as a smile or a simple hug, but those things will last a life time for me and I just wanted to tell you how much they do mean to me, and how much I do love every single smile you give me, every hug, every laugh, and although it’s hard to say, every single time you give me a bad time. In a way, you’re teaching me to teach you! Crazy how that works huh? I love you dude! You’re my most favorite present each year, and every day with you is like a holiday for me!!

Love always,

Your weird Daddy